Divorce is stressful for everyone involved. Even though you and your former spouse are going through a difficult time, it’s important to remember that your kids are, too. Here are five ways that you can help your kids handle the divorce process.
1. Listen and encourage them to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
Undoubtedly, your kids have many thoughts and feelings regarding your divorce. Encourage them to talk, and then listen to what they have to say. Do your very best to stay quiet and let your kids speak. If they say something that is untrue or unfair to you, hear them out. Let them speak their truth and, when they have finished, decide whether you should reply to what they said or just leave it.
2. Keep life consistent.
One of the best things you can offer your kids while you’re going through a divorce is consistency. Make sure that their activities stay the same, and do your best to keep their daily routine in tact.
If you and your former spouse are sharing custody of the kids at two different houses, life gets more complicated for your children. Although you may disagree on many topics, it’s important for you and your former spouse to get on the same page regarding the approximate times for important activities like waking up and going to bed. By setting a schedule and sticking to it, you and your former spouse are providing a tremendous amount of stability during this very unstable time.
3. No fighting.
Don’t fight with your kids, and don’t fight with your former spouse in front of your children. Right now, everyone is operating with a heavy load of stress. When this happens, people can be snippy and say things they don’t really mean. Do your very best to stay calm and avoid engaging in fights. Remember, it takes two people to have a fight.
4. Be courteous.
Regardless of your feelings regarding your former spouse, that individual is the other parent to your children. It’s in your kids’ best interest to have both parents in their lives. Do your very best to avoid making negative or belittling comments about the other parent. Reinforce to your kids that your former spouse is still their parent and that the divorce doesn’t change that parent/child relationship.
5. Get help.
We are not equipped to handle everything. Just as you should seek help to process the thoughts and emotions that you have about your divorce and former spouse, so should your kids. Counselors and therapists are here to help us learn how to process our thoughts and feelings constructively. Don’t be afraid to seek help.
In addition to seeking help from a therapist, you will also want help from a specialist in family law, such as Cheryl Alsandor, or a member of her team. Hiring a qualified lawyer can greatly reduce the stress that you might feel during this difficult time. If you’re getting a divorce or thinking of getting a divorce and live in the Houston area, contact the Alsandor Law Firm. Our qualified professionals are here to help. Give us a call today at (713) 701-9384 or contact us through the web.
